Self-Care During a Divorce

Guest Blog Contributor: Susan Tripi 

Learn about the importance of self-care during a divorce. With a desire for authenticity and acceptance, Susan is deeply committed to ensuring that every woman going through a divorce feels cared for and loved in the process — and that her blog, is a space to find encouragement and hope.

Susan’s passion is to inspire women to own their voice and tap into their power through advocacy, personal and professional development so that they can live a life fueled by passion and purpose.

Susan outlines 6 ways of practicing self-care during a divorce.

 

My Journey Through Divorce

Hot Mess

I remember the day as if it was yesterday. Aimlessly walking…

Trying to find peace.

Trying to find help.

Trying to find a path forward.

Trying to find vestiges of myself.

Wiping the tears as they fell, I reflected on how crying on the streets of North Sudbury, Massachusetts had become a normal part of my walks in those early days of marital separation.

Crying was a welcomed release…

Crying through the grief.

Crying through the pain.

Crying through the loss — the loss of every foundation I had built my life and marriage upon, now in rubble.

As an exercise in positive manifestation, I focused on my breathing: slow. steady. grounding. centering.

With every exhale I consciously released fear, doubt, anxiety.

With every inhale I breathed in strength, hope, courage, love.

I was a swirling ball of emotions back then – – a real hot mess. And I was grasping at straws to try and maintain some form of control over my life; trying to uncover some type of meaning through all the confusion, depression, and overwhelm, and laser-focused on putting a plan in place to inch my way forward during my recovery and rebuilding process.

The Gratitude Phase of Divorce

You see, over the past 15-months, I have encountered a number of life-altering transitions: two surgeries, the death of my 100-year-old grandmother, a cross-country move to a community in which I knew no one, a marital separation that led to divorce, not to mention Covid related job-loss, chronic unemployment, food insecurity, and a health crisis, just to name a few.

Whew!

Every time I look at this list, I pause with gratitude.

Yes, gratitude.

I pause to honor the effort and energy that it requires to keep pressing in and moving forward.

I pause to celebrate the growth that has occurred within my soul as a result of walking through each experience with a commitment to learn, grow, and shed.

I pause to marvel at the opportunities that have presented themselves in my life as I have come to a deeper alignment with my passion and purpose.

I pause to pay homage to the tribe of women that has formed around me, my safety-net, my cheerleaders.

I pause to sit in awe of the ways that God showed up for me to provide in big, small, and acutely exact ways, as constant reminders that this Sparrow is on the radar.

I pause to reflect on the practice that helped me navigate each and every one of these difficult circumstances in a way that allowed me to maintain a positive and optimistic perspective.

That pathway is self-care.

Self Care: From Hot Mess to Centered, Calm and Focused

Self-care took me from stressed, “hot mess” to centered, calm, and focused.

It led me back to feeling whole, inspired, energized, and ALIVE again.

By practicing self-care, it enables me to live the life I want, fueled by passion and purpose, and in such an exciting way that I often hear the following complements:

“Susan, you are the most optimistic person I know.”

“Susan, your outlook is refreshing.”

“Susan, your positive energy is amazing.”

And so, I’d like to share six benefits to cultivating a commitment to self-care that will change your life.

Six Ways Self-Care During a Divorce Will Change Your Life

No matter what you are going through, no matter the level of “hot mess” you think you may be, no matter the depth of anxiety you may be experiencing, self-care will help you reclaim your soul and live in more meaningful alignment with your passion.

1. Put YOU First

So that you can engage the world from a place of love. The practice of self-care is a declaration validating and affirming the importance of Self. By making time to focus on YOU through activities that rejuvenate your energy, stimulate your psyche, and expand your compassion for others, you are better suited to loving yourself and, from that overflow, being able to love others well.

2. Nurture Your Soul

This is essential to remain in authentic alignment with your passion/s. The practice of soul care involves an intentional inward focus through reflection, meditation, and centering, all of which are designed to dig deeper into our psyche and soul. Through this process, we remain intentionally connected to the passions that start in our hearts and develop action steps to manifest the fulfillment of those dreams.

3. Shift Your Perspective

Shifting perspective allows us to see the positive aspects in every situation. One outgrowth of self-care is that we begin to become more mindful and in doing so our perspective shifts from the downward + inward negative loop cycle to an upward + outward moving positive outlook. This helps us to see the opportunities and silver linings in every situation.

4. Develop Healthy Boundaries

Protect your energy and invest only in those activities that fuel joy by developing healthy boundaries. Paying attention to self-care enables us to develop boundaries that allow us to step back from toxic people as well as reduce negative energy coming into our life. As we begin to trust our gut and follow its lead, we intuitively learn how to invest our time and energy and how to deflect away negative and toxic energy suckers.

5. Cultivate Compassion

Compassion allows us to serve others without judgment. Gratitude is an essential component of self-care. The more we practice gratitude, the more we come to recognize all the wonderful acts of kindness extended to us, we are compelled to ricochet that care and love right back out into the world.

6. Foster Meaningful Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps us remain committed to the practice of reflection and growth. Practicing self-care is not a one-and-done activity. Self-care is made up of daily, weekly, and annual rhythms that flow together for sustainable impact. It is a commitment to continual personal growth and development, as well as the rejuvenation of our energy.

Self-Care During a Divorce Should Not Be Overlooked

Taking care of yourself especially during a divorce is important for you mentally, physically, and emotionally. It can help you push through the hard times, and put things in perspective as you navigate the challenging process of divorce. Self-care should not be overlooked, as it plays a crucial role in promoting your overall well-being and resilience during this difficult period.